Scott Lynch - Gentleman Bastard 2 - Red Seas Under Red Skies

Review :


"Who's the biggest, meanest motherfucker here Who's the best bruiser in the Brass Coves"

Buddy read with my fellow ship mates Petrik & Celeste.

Seriously, it was incredible. I can't even explain how happy I was to be back in this world. I went into this book with lowish expectations because, I heard it was the weakest in the trilogy. However for me that wasn't the case, this book was as good as The Lies of Locke Lamorr, honestly I can't decide if I like this one or the first one better, so I'm going to say they are both equally amazing. I found the writing this time around to be much easier to follow and still love the way the chapters are set, past and present. BUT I still hated the long arse descriptions that go on and on, the world building is wonderful however I found the descriptions to be over kill. The action in this one doesn't stop, its like a horrible roller coaster that your not allowed to get off, instead of vomiting, I came close to having a heart attack..
On more then one occasion, I found myself talking to the book, begging for my favourite bromance ever to stay safe & friends, I even cried. Like there was some really heartbreaking parts in this book. The pain Locke & Jean felt at the start, the strain on their friendship & most importantly the death of my ultimate ship. The pain in my heart, was also real.
I must also admit, it definitely wasn't as fun to read as the first. This book is a lot darker then the first and has a lot of heartbreak and anguish. It was less humorous then the first but definitely wasn't lacking for banter and still had some really funny moments. It also had a ROMANCE, Yay. I totally love romance in stories, only when the romance isn't the main focus. It had me feeling all gooey inside. I just loved everything about this book.

"Pretend I'm a barrel, then."
"Barrels don't have br-"
"So I've heard. Find the nerve, ___."
"You want me to pretend that you're a barrel so I can tell you what I was telling barrels back when I was pretending they were you."

Only one word to describe this book and that's BADASS. As you all know I love criminals, deceit, backstabbing, bromance, swearing (my inner hillbilly loves all the swearing), thievery & tough people. Well folks this book has all of the above, like could this series actually be the bible of badassery Truth be honest, it is the holy grail of badassery & I'm currently making a temple to worship the thirteenth god, the Crooked Warden. I swear this book was written for me. We were made for each other. It was even educational. I learnt a lot from this book, it taught me how to lie, steal, cheat, the fact that you must take cats to sea for luck, to kill people & also this new insult "I'll fuckin' kill you later, you cabbage-brained pig-rapist!"

The story is a continuation of book one after Locke & Jean escape from Camorr. This time around we have two broken men, who are trying to get established in the underworld in a new city. The job itself is to steal something precious from the Spinspire casino. I found the plot in this book more complex then book one, there was a quote in the book that describes it perfectly; "This web of lies was growing so convoluted, so branching, and so delicate that a moth's fart might knock it to pieces-"
The lies that Locke & Jean weave are so complex, I have no idea how Scott thought of half the stuff that happens in the book, some of the situations the bastards got out of or should I say lied themselves out of were so insane. This book was full of heisty goodness, it was like Oceans Eleven only with PIRATES! Did I just say pirates Yes I fucking did. I don't know about you, but Pirates are my favourite criminals ever, so I was an extremely happy camper while reading this book. I found the pirate terminology easy to follow because well let's face it, I'm a pirate and fluent in pirate language. I also didn't know pirates loved cats! I AM THE CRAZY CAT LADY so I loved all the mewing and pawing around. So much cat talk. I'm in cat heaven. " "We must have cats. A basket of cats, for the Red Messenger. We need what luck we can steal. All gods as your witness, you must not fail to have cats at that ship before we put to sea."
But I'm faced with a new issue & it was worst then all the heartbreak.. I can't pick a favourite character and I always need a favourite. Im indecisive on who I like more, I love them both for different reason, Jean because his the toughest motherfucker ever, "I'm the meanest motherfucker here. I'm the biggest bruiser in the Brass Coves." . But then I also love Locke because his a clever, little crafty bastard & the best thief ever "You snake-souled, dirty-minded son of a bitch! I hope a shark tries to suck your cock!" . So I've decided they can both join my harem. I truly adore Locke & Jean, they're bromance is amazing, honestly the best bromance ever & their banter is something else, the sass is so strong with these two perfect thieves. If I could have two book best friends id choose Locke & Jean, hands down.

fanart by Tolmancotton.

Can this series be made into a movie now Please. My action loving self is craving to see my bastards kick arse on screen.

"Surely you boys can do simple sums," he said. "One plus one equals don't fuck with me."

I'd recommend this to all fantasy lovers 15+. I also think this series would be a great introduction for someone wanting to read adult fantasy.

Ps. Currently training to be a gentleman bastard. See all you suckers when I'm snatching your purse.

Here's some cat quotes from the book that gave me the giggles;
"but you'd better pray in your cabin tonight for one thing."
"What's that"
"Cats falling from the bloody sky.
OF COURSE, no convenient rain of screeching felines was forthcoming that night,"
I wish this every night aswell

"Butcan you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming, 'Your cats! Give us all your gods-damned cats!'"

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