Less than halfway through this brilliant book Bader already changed several ideas I had about my sex life. Must reading for anyone who is a man or anyone who has sex with a man. He calls for a broader understanding of men's liking for pornography and for the kind of behavior that is generally filed under unloving and callous. In one way, I wish I'd read this book before writing How to Make Love to Adrian Colesberry but in another way, I'm glad I hadn't. I avoided psychodynamics so carefully and Bader is so right-on about so many things that I think I would have kept some of his psychodynamic thinking in.